Moving with Kids
The majority of Canadian Forces (CF) Families will have to deal with relocation. Although this can be an exciting time there are a lot of changes and challenges. Commonly asked questions are: What is the best area of town to live in? How do I find a family doctor? Here are some tips to help you get started:
- Explain to each child at his or her level of understanding why you are moving, what their new home will be like, and how each of them can contribute to making a smooth move. Accept their feelings, whether they are excited, angry or sad, and help them learn to manage their feelings and express them appropriately. Children develop resilience through meeting challenges while being adequately supported. If you view the change as a new adventure, your children will be more likely to react optimistically as well. Help them find the positive aspects to the move, and the points where they can make choices.
- Visit your MFRC for information about the new community and check www.familyforce.ca to find the website of the new MFRC. If your family has special needs or responsibilities, check the Family Navigator website at www.familynavigator.ca for resources at your new location.
- Use the internet to help your child find out about the new community and explore comparable activities, from shopping malls to soccer teams.
- Gather school and medical records, reports, and important contacts. Arrange for a transfer of records to your new school or doctor. Check that passports are up to date.
- Create a small photo album with 4X6 size photos for your child. Include photos of your old home (outside and inside), friends, school, parks and favourite places.
- Your child can leave a memento at the old house for the next family, such as planting a flower, to help them with the transition from their community to a new one.
- As you prepare to move, try to keep your home environment as low key and comfortable as possible and maintain normal routines. Arrange for your child to visit with friends sometimes if home life starts to get hectic.
- Just before you go, throw a moving party and during the party do a photo session. Supply your child with a special book to gather personal messages and contacts.
- Make a travel treasure box to keep track of your memories. Encourage your children to gather tickets, maps, buttons, postcards, stamps, stickers, and brochures. Decorate a shoebox before you go and include a travel diary to record your memories.
- When you arrive, tour places of interest with your children, such as the school, playground, and recreation centre. Connect with your new MFRC to find out about local activities and resources.
One CF Family with a young child shares this tip "The transition for my son during relocation was overwhelming. Everything was new to him and frightening. To do the experience over again I would change one thing. Instead trying to make it a fresh start for him, I would have kept his old bedroom furniture and paint colour. A new bedroom doesn't have to mean different. Setting up his new room to try and replicate the old one as closely as possible, would be much easier for him to adjust. Familiarity as small as it is, is important. It would have given him a sense of security and provided that feeling of being safe in a world that is completely different."
Each child is unique, and this family’s experience shows one way to plan for your child’s needs as you plan your move.
Changing schools? Dependent Education Management can help. [article]
Listen to an interview with Marianne Ostopovich and Cindy Townsend of the Esquimalt MFRC on Real Parenting as they talk about moving with children. Used with permission from CFAX 1070 and Real Parenting.[Part 1] [Part 2]
